![\"File:Bernie](\"https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/f8493b32-b52a-477e-91ce-9ea7c7961caf_800x533.jpeg\")
<\/figure>There are two lines of thinking I\u2019m insanely frustrated by, because they\u2019re both such a specific kind of vibe ruiner. There are the people who need to read a different book, and then there are who I call the Epic Bacon people. <\/p>
(Please note: much like how Sawako Nakayasu\u2019s <\/a>Nothing Fiction But The Accuracy Or Arrangement (She<\/a><\/em> can be read as though \u201cshe\u201d is missing from the beginning of every line, please assume I\u2019m yelling \u201cKNOW WHAT I THINK\u201d before the start of each paragraph)<\/p> Please Read A Different Book Tier<\/strong><\/p> The Roald Dahl updates<\/a> are a miserable, cynical cash grab<\/a>. Worse than that, they annoy me on principle. Rewriting a text to fit contemporary sensibilities is awful. Why shy away from the fact that Dahl was a virulent anti-Semite<\/a>? That goes entirely against the wishes of the author! He chose his words carefully, and he meant them. Don\u2019t you go altering my books after I die. I know good and damn well that eating cheeseburgers is a sin against the Earth. I have the decency to feel bad about it, but not the decency to change the huge chunks of my novel and long portions of my poetry extolling the beauty of the cheeseburger. Don\u2019t tell people I was a vegetarian at heart. Tell people I\u2019m a jerk for not being a vegetarian. <\/p> Roald Dahl\u2019s books are magic, but they do have an extraordinary mean streak. That\u2019s never exactly been secret. If that bothers you enough to not read the books again, seek writers influenced by Dahl or who deal with similar subject matter. If it doesn\u2019t bother you, I don\u2019t think there was a huge Cancel Roald Dahl campaign. Anyway, there\u2019s no shortage of magical worlds filled with children who are more special than they seem. Hey, speaking of!<\/p> JK Rowling is more pathetic than a forgotten box of Kix cereal<\/a> and so is the New York Times<\/a>. I\u2019m not going to link Pamela Paul\u2019s op-ed piece defending Rowling, but this is all you need to know about it: <\/p> NYT\u2019s coverage of trans people and trans issues has been so awful their own contributors, not to mention groups like GLAAD and Human Rights Campaign<\/a>, wrote an open letter begging them to show even a modicum of responsibility. The very next day, Pamela \u201cnot to kink shame but that\u2019s a pretty weird porn obsession<\/a>\u201d Paul publishes a defense of JK Rowling. The former NYT Book Review editor is quickly becoming a nemesis of this book-loving blog. <\/p> If you\u2019re a Harry Potter<\/em> fan, it was a good run, but it\u2019s time to cut loose. There\u2019s no separating art from artist with this one because she still profits off of everything Harry Potter<\/em>-related. Luckily, the Sci-Fi\/Fantasy world is full of great and interesting writers, which you can find in cool literary journals. <\/p> The \u201cEpic Bacon\u201d People Tier <\/strong><\/p> GodDAMNIT did something else bad happen with lit mags? This one is so heartbreaking and stupid. <\/p> Remember when all you had to do to go viral was something EPIC with BACON? The internet was young, but eventually you have to grow up. Some people still find Spencer\u2019s Gifts funny, though, which is why cool Sci-Fi\/Fantasy literary journal Clarkesworld had to close submissions recently<\/a>. Personally, I don\u2019t understand how someone could use an AI chatbot to write a story, sign their own name to it, try to scam an indie lit mag out of a few bucks, and then have a good night\u2019s sleep. To me, using AI to write a story and having the shamelessness to try to pull one over on\u2014if I may slander my own environment\u2014a goddamn online lit mag for crissakes<\/em> would be the height of loserdom. But maybe I don\u2019t hustle enough or whatever. <\/p> Lastly, Winnie The Pooh: Blood and Honey<\/a><\/em> sucks<\/a>, because of course it does. The \u201chorror twist on public domain characters\u201d genre is potato salad at the six-hour mark of the cookout. I think I had a \u201cthank you\u201d portion of Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters<\/em> before getting irritatingly bored with the whole thing. Let\u2019s do something actually<\/em> thoughtful<\/em> with public domain characters, please? <\/p> Because ultimately, all these things bum me out. I don\u2019t come to literature to be bummed out. Reading is too fun for this bogusity. Let\u2019s be thoughtful readers, anti-bigots, ethical people, and thinkers who go past the first idea. Ugh, I\u2019m so bummed out. On Friday, we\u2019re talking about something cool. <\/p> Don\u2019t use AI to write your stories.<\/p> Sorry you got an email, <\/p> Chris<\/p>![\"File:Roald](\"https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/ed843c26-415e-4da3-bb50-a5adcf56d294_371x512.png\")
<\/figure>![\"alan](\"https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/5c957cbf-76a6-4cce-907e-ba4403dd940f_200x111.gif\")
<\/figure>![\"Lovecraft](\"https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/82cd4daa-1944-4aad-afc6-ad22db88f971_300x168.jpeg\")
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