{"id":120297182,"date":"2023-05-10T12:30:08","date_gmt":"2023-05-10T12:30:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/?p=120297182"},"modified":"2023-05-10T12:30:08","modified_gmt":"2023-05-10T12:30:08","slug":"ekphrasis-ghost-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/?p=120297182","title":{"rendered":"Ekphrasis: Ghost Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

“party, & they are the party, & it \/ is a ghost party. \/ Excuse me, a spooky babe party. My favorite bedtime story: Once upon a time,” – Chen Chen, “The School of a Few or a Lot of My Favorite Things<\/h2>

Ever since writing this column<\/a>, I\u2019ve randomly thought about how great an experience typing \u201cghosts\u201d into Wikimedia Commons was. Bonus for The Content Churn, I wrote that column before coming up with the ekphrasis gimmick<\/a>. So I ask: on this nice spring day, who wants to get spooooooooky?<\/p>

We get spooooooky here a lot. Go ahead and subscribe for more spooooooooky.<\/p><\/div>

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Yangtze Giant Softshell Turtle<\/strong><\/p>

\"A<\/figure>

Well, hell. This first one\u2019s a bummer. Yangtze giant softshell turtles, or as they are legendarily known in Vietnam, Ho\u00e1n Ki\u1ebfm turtles, are going to go extinct. Legend has it that L\u00ea L\u1ee3i<\/a>, given a sword from the heavens, drove out the occupying Ming army and was crowned emperor. Later, while boating near Hanoi, a large, golden turtle appeared and asked for the sword back. The turtles are still revered in Vietnam (or a glorified tourist attraction for Ho\u00e0n Ki\u1ebfm Lake, depending on who you ask). Unfortunately, the species is going extinct, as the last female Ho\u00e0n Ki\u1ebfm turtle has died<\/a>. These were some big ol\u2019 turtles, dude\u2014in 1967, a 550-pound, seven-foot-long one crawled ashore and died, the one who just died was five feet long and over 200 pounds. C\u1ee5 R\u00f9a, maybe the last inhabitant of Ho\u00e0n Ki\u1ebfm Lake, is embalmed in Ngoc Son temple<\/a>, if you wanna go visit. <\/p>

Dumpster Ghost<\/strong><\/p>

\"File:Blubbo<\/figure>

Is this about appreciating the little things? \u201cEven the humble dumpster is worth haunting?\u201d Or is this about the ghost needing to believe in themselves? I bet you\u2019re a fine enough ghost to haunt the actual Vatican, my dude. Or, given the hobo pack, this ghost is simply a nomad. Be free, spirit dude. <\/p>

French Dragon Pig Ghost<\/strong><\/p>

\"File:Le<\/figure>

\u201cWhoa whoa whoa. Look, I don\u2019t mean any offense. It\u2019s just\u2026\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s okay.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ve never done anything like this before.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIs it because I\u2019m ectoplasmic?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo no! You\u2019re very beautiful! I\u2019m nervous, is all.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cBut you\u2019ve thought about this before. You\u2019ve thought<\/em> about something like this before, don\u2019t be shy.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cSo I put my hand\u2026there? And my other hand\u2014oh.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThat\u2019s<\/em> ectoplasmic!\u201d<\/p>

Magic Ghost<\/strong><\/p>

\"File:Magician<\/figure>

Absolutely citation needed<\/em> on that \u201cmagician\u201d moniker. That fossilized bastard did not<\/em> raise that ghost. She showed up because she had errands to run in the neighborhood. Picking up blueberry waffles and Guardians Of The Galaxy<\/em>-themed Gogurt for her kids (\u201cGroot-gurt,\u201d they called it back then). Had to take her car in for an oil change between shifts, you know she\u2019s a single mom with two jobs and that was extra<\/em> tough in the 19th century. FOH, heinous old guys. Ghost goes where she wants. <\/p>

Bridge Ghost<\/strong><\/p>

\"File:Ghost<\/figure>

You think the afterlife spares you from infrastructure week<\/a>? <\/p>

Sorry you got an email, <\/p>

Chris<\/p>

Thanks for reading shipwrecked sailor! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.<\/p><\/div>

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“party, & they are the party, & it \/ is a ghost party. \/ Excuse me, a spooky babe party. My favorite bedtime story: Once upon a time,” – Chen Chen, “The School of a Few or a Lot of My Favorite Things<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-120297182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120297182","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=120297182"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/120297182\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=120297182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=120297182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=120297182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}