{"id":147597027,"date":"2024-08-16T12:31:08","date_gmt":"2024-08-16T12:31:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/?p=147597027"},"modified":"2024-08-16T12:31:08","modified_gmt":"2024-08-16T12:31:08","slug":"friday-links-what-kind-of-man-do-you-want-to-be-edition","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/?p=147597027","title":{"rendered":"Friday Links: What Kind Of Man Do You Want To Be Edition?"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">&#8220;Last night a man was yelling in the parking lot as I walked to my car. \/ I don&#8217;t know what he said, but it sounded like my name,&#8221; &#8211; Diannely Antigua, &#8220;A Hundred And Then None&#8221;<\/h2><p>There\u2019s something that\u2019s been happening in the last few presidential election cycles: I keep seeing very good and very bad examples of how to be man. Already, I\u2019m self-conscious about becoming one of those bitter old men who complain about everything (a Republican speciality, but also strong amongst the left). Ted Cruz <em>let<\/em> Donald Trump call his wife ugly and accuse his dad of killing JFK, and it was right around the time I was getting married\u2014it hit hard. Trump is Trump\u2014the \u201cgrab em by the pussy\u201d tape wasn\u2019t so much <em>news<\/em> to me as confirmation of suspicions. Jance Vance talks about women like they\u2019re resource allocations in <em><a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Medieval:_Total_War\">Medieval: Total War<\/a><\/em>. <\/p><p>On the other hand, Barack Obama seems like the one president who never cheats on his wife. <a href=\"https:\/\/x.com\/nowthisimpact\/status\/1240360573847523329\">Bernie Sanders finds time on the campaign trail to play with his grandkids<\/a>. Tim Walz seems genuinely stoked to sign a free lunch bill into law, seems genuinely happy to be around kids. Doug Emhoff seems like a pretty good dad, especially since his ex-wife keeps coming out and being like \u201cHE\u2019S A GREAT CO-PARENT AND KAMALA AND I ARE FRIENDS.\u201d <\/p><p>Forget ideology for a second\u2014I\u2019m very far to the left of all those dudes except Bernie\u2014it\u2019s good to have these models for halfway decent manhood mainstreamed. We cannot let the children think Trump and Ben Shapiro and Andrew Tate and Kanye West are aspirational figures. Those jagoffs know <em>nothing<\/em> about waking their kids up and telling them to pray and giving them tools to walk through life like day by day, teaching them morals integrity discipline. Nothing.  <\/p><p>Is it manly to read poetry? My answer would be \u201cwho the hell cares,\u201d followed by quoting the tagline for one of this weeks\u2019 authors\u2019 podcast: poetry, like bread, is for everyone. <\/p><p><strong>What I\u2019ve Been Reading This Week:<\/strong><\/p><p>Oh man. It\u2019s poetry week and I kinda got ahead of my reading schedule, so I had some extra reading time! Plus I had a seven-hour flight delay in the Birmingham airport where my son behaved perfectly, so I had lots of extra reading time!<\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/5a9834cf-04b4-449c-a8c0-466edcbe401e_3024x4032.heic\" alt=\"Good Monster by Diannely Antigua, Promises of Gold by Jos\u00e9 Olivarez, Dear Memphis by Rachel Edelman, Unmonstrous by John Allen Taylor\"\/><\/figure><p><em><strong>Promises of Gold<\/strong><\/em><strong> by Jos\u00e9 Olivarez: <\/strong>I read <a href=\"https:\/\/shipwreckedsailor.substack.com\/p\/friday-links-read-poems-and-respect?utm_source=publication-search\">this book again<\/a> because I was touching up some poems this week, and wanted to be near the book that inspired me the most. It still rips the second time around. Relatedly, the sky is dope. <\/p><p><em><strong>Unmonstrous <\/strong><\/em><strong>by John Allen Taylor: <\/strong>the delightful, relentlessly positive <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/line-to-line-turns-and-the-power-of-imagery-feat\/id1524056726?i=1000518827113\">Stephen Furlong<\/a>, aka the Bob Ryan Of Poetry, bought this book for me at <a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/guerilla-poetry-at-awp\/id1524056726?i=1000645990880\">AWP<\/a>. An incredibly kind gift, and a book I thoroughly enjoyed. There\u2019s a ton of stuff I love in here\u2014self-doubt, trying to improve, elegies for mallards and hermit crabs. Taylor\u2019s a poet I\u2019m definitely going to check out more. <\/p><p><em><strong>Good Monster<\/strong><\/em><strong> by Diannely Antigua: <\/strong>starting this book with \u201cSomeday I\u2019ll Stop Killing Diannely Antigua\u201d is like starting <em>To Pimp A Butterfly<\/em> with \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=l9fN-8NjrvI\">Wesley\u2019s Theory<\/a>.\u201d What a move. This book is beautifully sad, I mean Diannely really makes symphonies out of sadness, and there\u2019s an incredible bravery to the face down some of this personal trauma and make beautiful art objects out of it. There\u2019s formal complexity, too\u2014pantuoms and sestinas and sonnets\u2014without ever feeling like a Book Full Of Writing Exercises. She\u2019s just a goddamn good poet, homies. <\/p><p><em><strong>Dear Memphis<\/strong><\/em><strong> by Rachel Edelman: <\/strong>another <a href=\"https:\/\/shipwreckedsailor.substack.com\/p\/dispatches-from-the-weirdo-convention?utm_source=publication-search\">AWP pickup<\/a>, courtesy of <a href=\"https:\/\/riverriverbooks.org\/\">River River Books<\/a>, whom I believe is having a sale right now. I have a strange relationship to Memphis, in that I\u2019m from Tennessee, but Memphis was the same distance away as Atlanta, so we\u2019d go to Atlanta for concerts\/school field trips\/whatever. Consequently, I\u2019m not super familiar with Memphis, and I\u2019m certainly not familiar with the Jewish experience of Memphis. That\u2019s the great thing about poetry, though, as <span class=\"mention-wrap\" data-attrs=\"{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Bob Sykora&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:4418940,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:null,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/08735bc3-9219-47e9-bb05-a72e3369d2f9_813x960.jpeg&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;08238e98-154a-4437-aa25-18af0975c58e&quot;}\" data-component-name=\"MentionToDOM\"\/> and I have talked about on <em>The Line Break<\/em>\u2014you get these incredibly thoughtful windows into lives that let you know the world is bigger than you could imagine. These poems exist in the \u201ccolliding geographies and intimate economies of the American South,\u201d per the back of the book, and that feels right. There\u2019s diaspora here, there\u2019s speaker-returns-to-hometown stuff, there\u2019s alternating lushness and spareness. This is maybe not the highest level of criticism, but I liked how most of the poems were short, but some of them would be like eight pages. Not enough people writing eight-page poems lately. <\/p><p><strong>LINKS!<\/strong><\/p><p>There\u2019s a new Solipse single, and you should listen to it! You should also go see them on Tuesday at Sleeping Village. <a href=\"https:\/\/sleeping-village.com\/event\/dbn-solipse-brass-calf-beige-on-beige\/\">Buy tickets here<\/a>. I unfortunately cannot be there, and I\u2019m super bummed about it. So if you\u2019re in Chicago, go for me. <\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Solipse - Meteorite\" width=\"790\" height=\"444\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/i0ZC1oeFZjY?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure><ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li><p>Let\u2019s talk about Tim Walz. He\u2019s got <em>decency<\/em> radiating off of him, from his \u201cI served in the National Guard for 20 years for the right reasons\u201d to his \u201cmy retirement plan is a public schoolteacher\u2019s pension\u201d stock holdings to his \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/politics\/2024\/08\/08\/tim-walz-genocide-prediction-teacher\/\">I\u2019m just a high school geography teacher who wants the kids to be educated enough on how genocides happen that maybe we won\u2019t have any anymore<\/a>\u201d attitudes. What seals the deal for me is this: in 1999, <em>right in the middle of <a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Don't_ask%2C_don't_tell\">don\u2019t ask don\u2019t tell<\/a><\/em>, Tim Walz sponsored the high school\u2019s Gay-Straight Alliance. In Walz\u2019s words and in former student Jacob Reitan\u2019s words, it was precisely because Walz was the straight\/married\/football coach\/soldier that it made the most sense to ask him to sponsor. Still, it takes first being a fundamentally decent person to take that step, to be a safe enough person for marginalized students to trust, and the moral courage to step up when called. Tim Walz = Good Guy. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.them.us\/story\/tim-walz-jacob-reitan-high-school-gsa\">Here\u2019s Samantha Allen at <\/a><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.them.us\/story\/tim-walz-jacob-reitan-high-school-gsa\">them<\/a><\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.them.us\/story\/tim-walz-jacob-reitan-high-school-gsa\"> with more<\/a>. <\/p><\/li><li><p>Of course, the right can\u2019t stand for a fundamentally good and decent white man to exist. The party of spineless Marco Rubio and coward Josh Hawley and cheating-while-his-wife-dies-of-cancer Newt Gingrich needs everyone to be as odious as them. As such, Fox News washout and not-talented-enough-for-mainstream-TV ghoul Meghan Kelly tried to get the nickname \u201cTampon Tim\u201d to stick, thanks to a law that, while not forcing schools to put tampons in boys\u2019 bathrooms (right wingers are always wrong or lying about everything), does use gender-neutral language while making it a requirement that school children from grades 4-12 are provided menstrual products as needed. <a href=\"https:\/\/www.assignedmedia.org\/breaking-news\/tampon-tim\">Over at <\/a><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.assignedmedia.org\/breaking-news\/tampon-tim\">Assigned<\/a><\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.assignedmedia.org\/breaking-news\/tampon-tim\">, Evan Urquhart points out this is an opportunity to normalize the experiences of trans boys and non-binary children<\/a>. Why <em>can\u2019t<\/em> there be tampons in boys\u2019 bathrooms? Trans boys use those bathrooms, and should feel safe. Also, what exactly are these right winger losers worried will happen if a straight boy\/man sees a box of menstrual products? What <em>precisely<\/em> is the bad thing that\u2019s gonna happen if a 10-year-old straight, cis boy sees a box of tampons? <\/p><\/li><li><p>Writing too many words this week! My goodness. This stuff gets me riled up. Not as riled up as the right, whom <a href=\"https:\/\/defector.com\/men-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown?giftLink=313328fccf43be9bbc08510ce4b0d463\">David Roth has exactly the right read on over at <\/a><em><a href=\"https:\/\/defector.com\/men-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown\">Defector<\/a><\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/defector.com\/men-on-the-verge-of-a-nervous-breakdown\">, talking about men on the verge of a nervous breakdown<\/a>. That\u2019s a gift link, but here\u2019s a pull quote anyway: <strong>\u201cA politics whose most fundamental idea is Make Progress Stop Happening would inevitably find itself fetishizing the torment of having to live in a world in which other people, who are not even <\/strong><em><strong>you<\/strong><\/em><strong>, are somehow supposed to matter just as much.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/li><li><p>Switching gears into more gross gender stuff, the right\u2019s weird obsession with being wrong about Imane Kehlif was\u2014how many times can I use \u201codious\u201d in one column?\u2014it was depressing. The right has this <em>need<\/em> for everyone to look and be one way, and it seems exhausting as much as it is mean and unsavory. <a href=\"https:\/\/defector.com\/it-doesnt-matter-if-the-iba-was-lying-about-imane-khelif\">Lauren Theisen at <\/a><em><a href=\"https:\/\/defector.com\/it-doesnt-matter-if-the-iba-was-lying-about-imane-khelif\">Defector<\/a><\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/defector.com\/it-doesnt-matter-if-the-iba-was-lying-about-imane-khelif\"> has the word on Imane Kehlif<\/a>: <strong>\u201cInvisible genetic material was never <\/strong><em><strong>really <\/strong><\/em><strong>the focal point of debate, but rather the desire to punish women who don&#8217;t fit traditional male ideals of femininity.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/li><li><p>Over at <span class=\"mention-wrap\" data-attrs=\"{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Weed Church&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:919325,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;pub&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/open.substack.com\/pub\/weedchurch&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/bucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/dbd7892e-da8e-42c6-aaef-bf87e244caad_890x890.png&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;650dc7a9-1c9a-41a4-a516-abcc74b2250e&quot;}\" data-component-name=\"MentionToDOM\"\/> , <span class=\"mention-wrap\" data-attrs=\"{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Casey Taylor&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:4725002,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:null,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/bucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/images\/31098d06-b762-497a-9447-ed28c524a819_3600x3600.jpeg&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;bc746df7-0d7b-44be-8a9d-59931a1ae3a3&quot;}\" data-component-name=\"MentionToDOM\"\/> writes the <a href=\"https:\/\/weedchurch.substack.com\/p\/politics-of-the-family?utm_source=post-email-title&amp;publication_id=919325&amp;post_id=147553442&amp;utm_campaign=email-post-title&amp;isFreemail=true&amp;r=3hbbd&amp;triedRedirect=true&amp;utm_medium=email\">\u201cdisgusted at Jance Vance and his perverted notions of family\u201d column<\/a> I would write if I wasn\u2019t spending these Wednesdays leading up to the album release doing music blogs. Here are some money quotes, but read the whole thing, Casey\u2019s great: <strong>\u201cI\u2019ve wanted to have kids my whole life. In no way did I ever think of that desire through a socio-political lens. I did not think about what having children said about me, or whether having children was a \u201cconservative\u201d or \u201cprogressive\u201d notion. Are you out of your fucking mind?\u201d <\/strong>and <strong>\u201c\u2026the reason that I hate politicization of family in discourse is the way it creates the illusion of solidarity. I have very little in common with other parents aside from the fact that I want my kids to have good schools where they are safe, and would like the cars to drive slower in my neighborhood. I have nothing in common with fathers who think like JD Vance or the people who write articles about the birth rate or what women should be doing with their time.\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/li><\/ul><p>What\u2019re you still doing here? Want a preview of Solipse live? <\/p><figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"SOLIPSE \u300eLIVE WORKS 1\u300f\" width=\"790\" height=\"444\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/iP_IflJnZ94?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure><p>If you work in the service industry, may you clean up in tips this weekend. Don\u2019t let the Jance Vances of the world push you around, ruining the vibes in your section by talking loudly about <a href=\"https:\/\/www.independent.co.uk\/news\/world\/americas\/us-politics\/jd-vance-children-women-audio-b2596492.html\">\u201cthe purpose of postmenopausal females\u201d and \u201cthe advantages of an Indian wife.\u201d<\/a> Spill coffee on those jagoffs. <\/p><p>Sorry you got an email, <\/p><p>Chris<\/p><div class=\"subscription-widget-wrap-editor\" data-attrs=\"{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/shipwreckedsailor.substack.com\/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}\" data-component-name=\"SubscribeWidgetToDOM\"><div class=\"subscription-widget show-subscribe\"><div class=\"preamble\"><p class=\"cta-caption\">Thanks for reading shipwrecked sailor! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.<\/p><\/div><form class=\"subscription-widget-subscribe\"><input type=\"email\" class=\"email-input\" name=\"email\" placeholder=\"Type your email\u2026\" tabindex=\"-1\"\/><input type=\"submit\" class=\"button primary\" value=\"Subscribe\"\/><div class=\"fake-input-wrapper\"><div class=\"fake-input\"\/><div class=\"fake-button\"\/><\/div><\/form><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Last night a man was yelling in the parking lot as I walked to my car. \/ I don&#8217;t know what he said, but it sounded like my name,&#8221; &#8211; Diannely Antigua, &#8220;A Hundred And Then None&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-147597027","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147597027","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=147597027"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/147597027\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=147597027"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=147597027"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=147597027"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}