{"id":162657660,"date":"2025-10-03T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-10-03T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/?p=162657660"},"modified":"2025-10-02T20:44:28","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T01:44:28","slug":"chapter-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/?p=162657660","title":{"rendered":"Chapter 5"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A midcentury lemonade glass and pitcher set. A new bracelet with a coyote on it. A faded heather t-shirt with a Goosebumps<\/em> cover ironed onto the front. Melissa was adamant that Mara needed something<\/em>, an amulet<\/em> of some kind. The best way to find an amulet was by thrifting. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThrift stores are where the universe speaks most clearly,\u201d Melissa said. \u201cYou\u2019re not contributing to the consumption cycle, you\u2019re repurposing a used thing. That lets you pick up different energy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara didn\u2019t need any new shit at all. Still, she wanted out of the house, where she had to tiptoe and watch TV wearing headphones while her mom slept. So she met Melissa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou witnessed a murder,\u201d Melissa insisted while they walked in the clear summer air. \u201cYou need protection.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell. Witnessing<\/em> means actually seeing death happen,\u201d Mara said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The rest of the walk, to her credit, Melissa was a whole church mouse. Didn\u2019t even coo at the collie that crossed their path at an intersection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara tried to quiet her thoughts in the hum of truck engines, the wind opening dumpsters then slamming them shut, the sound of a kid\u2019s wagon tires against sidewalk. She slow-walked past blooming flowers. Let her eyes unfocus in the red ocean of a hibiscus.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As soon as they turned onto Clark, the noise became less ambient and more like signals that she needed to pay attention to. More people on the sidewalk. More cars, delivery trucks, cyclists. Stores had open doors and people were enjoying the warm weather. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, the excess noise seemed to give Melissa permission. She leaned her shoulder into Mara\u2019s. \u201cHave you talked to Parth lately?\u201d she asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe were just at a Crystal Lake Counselors show. Two nights ago. You and me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLike that\u2019s what I\u2019m asking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI’d rather talk about the murder, about which there\u2019s nothing to tell<\/em>. I got off the bus, all these cops were poking around. I saw the like, tarp or whatever covering the body. I saw some blood. I didn\u2019t see the body, and I didn\u2019t go inside Lilypad. I just turned around and got on another bus. There\u2019s nothing to tell, really.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The rapid subject change didn\u2019t faze Melissa at all. \u201cOkay, but, like how did the air feel<\/em>? Evil sometimes has an echo. It sticks to the air, or maybe it sticks to a person.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow would I know the difference between a murderer\u2019s evil and a dozen cops hanging around?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s a good question. Maybe a murderer\u2019s echo would have a stronger presence? Like it would smell stronger?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMelissa. What are we talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou had a brush with death! You were so close to someone\u2019s life being taken! Aren\u2019t you curious if, I don\u2019t know, the universe is saying something to you? Like maybe this is a signal?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe universe is giving me a signal<\/em>?\u201d Mara stopped. There were racks of blouses next to tables of books and a goose dressed like it was ready to host a garden party. Hidden here, according to Melissa, was an amulet to protect her from murderers. \u201cThe signal was that I shouldn\u2019t work at Lilypad!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They walked into the thrift store. There was so much more depth than the outside suggested, but the ceilings felt shorter than they should be. Combined with the rows of secondhand clothes, the record players and cordial sets and boxes of Polaroids, tables of piled jewelry and clumped groupings of blast-from-the-past furniture and various other detritus, the effect was like walking into a different world. Not the grandest of fairy tale lands\u2014more like another dimension\u2019s garage. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara and Melissa studied gemstones and pinched fabrics. They drifted around in silence for a minute, until they were near the back. Mara was afraid she\u2019d been harsh. \u201cOkay I have to tell you something,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Melissa gave her raised eyebrows. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI may have spent last couple nights reading every article I could find about Lilypad, the restaurant group that founded it, articles about the murder, how Chicago police murder investigations work, articles about clearance rates and why they\u2019re so low, articles about how the police actually have no lawful obligation to help you if they happen to see you being murdered, articles about how police don\u2019t really do much to prevent crime, articles about how police torture confessions out of people, articles about Jon Burge, articles about Laquan McDonald, articles about Adam Toledo, articles about how the prison system isn\u2019t about helping people and doesn\u2019t make us safer, articles about restorative community justice, and yeah, okay, I do find it weird that someone got stabbed to death not just in my neighborhood, but at the restaurant I was about to start working at, and I have no idea what to do with those feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Melissa nodded. None of this was new information to her, somehow. \u201cSo you do<\/em> accept that the universe is talking to you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo. I accept that I was around something fucked up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUh huh.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re the one bringing up the other shit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d Melissa said with eyebrows that suggested she was biting her tongue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They paced another row, then stopped. Mara held up a deep red faux leather jacket that wouldn\u2019t stop a breeze but had six immediately visible pockets and probably more that she couldn\u2019t see. It was somehow $30. It was a little too long, but in a way that felt cocoonish. There was a Bad Brains patch sewn into the left shoulder. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay I\u2019m kinda feeling this jacket,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbsolutely,\u201d Melissa said. \u201cRight away, good energy coming off of that jacket.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What she didn\u2019t want to admit was that this jacket felt like a constant, guiding hand on her shoulder. That it somehow felt like butter on her skin. That somehow the jacket felt bulletproof. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay, I admit it,\u201d Mara said. \u201cI haven\u2019t stopped thinking about the murder since that day. I feel like I have to know everything about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They drifted over to the vinyls. Melissa picked up a copy of Bon Iver\u2019s For Emma, Forever Ago<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou and your sad-girl music,\u201d Mara teased. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A white man appeared. A shock of reddish hair sticking out behind a red cap, which didn\u2019t cover his ears, matched a wispy red beard. Admittedly, Mara thought, his hair complimented the baby blue shirt and faded cutoff jorts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDo you know about how he recorded that album?\u201d the man said. \u201cPeople always talk about the artist-in-the-woods trope, you know, man in the cabin, all that, but he actually did <\/em>go into a cabin, by himself\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDid you know you\u2019re dressed like you\u2019re on Team Zissou?\u201d Melissa snapped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, you noticed,\u201d the man said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m married,\u201d Melissa said, grabbing Mara and heading toward the cash register. They sped-walked, turned and zig-zagged through another aisle, and were staring at a green-haired cashier in an oversized hoodie faster than Mara thought it was possible for a human to navigate the maze of a store. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGood call,\u201d the cashier said. They looked at Melissa with approval. \u201cHe hangs out back there, waiting to pounce on people with music facts. Not everyone\u2019s as mean as you. I\u2019ve seen some nice people get stuck talking to him for hours.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cListen, when my radar starts whirring, I get the hell out,\u201d Melissa said. \u201cA man that passionate about something to a complete stranger? You gotta watch out for men like that. They\u2019re the ones that\u2019ll kill you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara rolled her eyes. \u201cGod forbid people try to make connections over shared interests.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t act like you don\u2019t know what I\u2019m talking about.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI like talking to fellow music fans about records,\u201d Mara\u2019s thoughts drifted to one of the first times she and Parth had hung out, trawling through the racks at Reckless Records and talking with unsettling ease about bands they loved, genres that had soundtracked deep heartbreaks, or records that kicked anxieties. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOkay, well, I want any man hitting on me to use some context,\u201d Melissa said. \u201cIf I\u2019m buying this depressing-ass record, does that give off a signal that I want to be approached? Think about it. That\u2019s not a man who\u2019s ever going to hear a word I say, but he might<\/em> strangle me if I tell him that Darjeeling Limited<\/em> made me uncomfortable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShe\u2019s smart,\u201d the cashier said. \u201cDo you need a bag?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/strong>\u2014<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Outside was breezy and the street was starting to buzz alive with night people. The June evening had enough of a chill that Mara felt justified wearing the jacket out of the store. Being around the Thursday night drinkers still wasn\u2019t appealing, though, and Mara suggested they take one of the residential streets back west. After about a block, the noise had faded into nothing but the occasional car, dog, or backyard party. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow\u2019s your mom doing?\u201d Melissa asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFine,\u201d Mara said. \u201cShe sleeps a lot. Working again, though. Part-time at the Jewel.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSucks she has to do that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYeah, but what\u2019re you gonna do?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When she got home, her mom was at work. In the fridge was a container of leftover grilled chicken and a bag of baby carrots. She took the cold dinner into her room and opened her laptop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mara searched the Sun-Times<\/em> and Trib<\/em>, searched Block Club <\/em>and The Triibe<\/em>, searched the Reader<\/em>. She wasn\u2019t quite sure how to find what she was looking for. Death. Murder<\/em>. What exactly<\/em> was it that she was looking for? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rabbit holes started appearing, and she dove in them like the deep end. Chicago Police settling a brutality case took her to the Laquan McDonald Wikipedia took her to the Chicago Police Department Wikipedia took her to the Jon Burge Wikipedia took her to the Golden State Killer\u2019s Wikipedia took her to Googling are there any active serial killers in Chicago<\/em> which took her to websites that said a serial killer was killing Black women sex workers on the south and west sides and she read a few articles and then had to close her laptop and breathe in silence. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stand up<\/em>, she told herself. Get some blood flowing<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The chicken was gone. It was 10:20. Her mom would be home any minute. She put the carrot bag back in the fridge and chucked the chicken container in the sink. It would be nice to wait for her mom, but she felt like talking about as much as she felt like getting stuck in traffic on a bus with broken AC. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In bed, she pulled out her phone and trawled Chicago Reddit boards for murder news. When her mom knocked on her door, she chucked her phone under the pillow and played groggy. She\u2019d found her board, though\u2014a post on a neighborhood subreddit. The victim in the Lilypad murder was named John Miller. <\/em>He was a systems administrator at some company Mara had never heard of, but had an address in the Loop. One Reddit post was from someone who said they were a neighbor, and that John fed his cats for him when he traveled. Another Reddit post said low-key John was kinda an asshole at work but he didn\u2019t deserve to die<\/em>. Cutting through everyone\u2019s opinions about murder in the city was a slog, but it was worth it if she could find out just a little more about the victim. John Miller. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She couldn\u2019t be sure when she fell asleep, but her last memory of the clock was at 2:33. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A midcentury lemonade glass and pitcher set. A new bracelet with a coyote on it. A faded heather t-shirt with a Goosebumps cover ironed onto the front. Melissa was adamant […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":162657656,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[168],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-162657660","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-behind-with-knife"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162657660","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=162657660"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162657660\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":162657661,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162657660\/revisions\/162657661"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/162657656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=162657660"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=162657660"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.lazyandentitled.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=162657660"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}