“Who I am hates who I’ve been” – Relient K, “Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been”
Ok, last one of these for a while. Easily the most embarrassing, too. But I need to do this band before Kevin San Juan starts bugging me about them.
Should I talk about how I used to want to be a camp counselor? Should I talk about Acquire The Fire? The Great Escape? Fun In The Son? I went to soooo many Christian camps dudes. I haven’t read Hell Is A World Without You by yet but I hear it’s real good. This band’s from Ohio and I don’t want to know what they think of Jance Vance.
Maybe read this column with a bucket of jerk chicken next to you. Cut through all the saccharine. Have some Between The Buried & Me queued up for after.
Today, we dig into Relient K and their best album, Mmhmm.
Forget, for a second, the cloying Youth Group jokes and idiot puns and cut-rate pop culture references that would’ve gotten booted out of the Cracked writers’ forums. Forget the loser high school earnestness coming from guys either in or approaching their 30s. This album came out in 2004 and it was earth-shattering musically. I was at the absolute height of my Rufio/Slick Shoes/skate-or-pop punk with intricate guitars fandom. This was about a year and change before Before Today took over my life. There’s a part of me—don’t laugh—that’s halfway optimistic about this re-listen. At least musically. My memories of this album, from a guitar player’s perspective, is that this is how I wanted to write now. We’ll see if that edges out any of the corniness!
The One I’m Waiting For
Yeah this opener rips. I love little palm-muted arpeggios in verses like that. Then the minor modulation in the prechorus. Yeah, play the chorus clean one time, then half time another time.
This song also goes hard on the worst thing about Relient K: self-satisfied tautologies. This is a favorite of Youth Pastors and Boomer Dads everywhere and call it Saruman in The Shire because it’s a fucking scourge. “I’m still waiting for you to be the one I’m waiting for.” “They’ve started something and I don’t wanna begin it” (from their previous album). “Who I am hates who I’ve been.” “Unless I got myself together I would watch me fall apart.” Oooooh we twisted the words around a little bit. Shut the hell up.
This is different from puns. This is different from José Olivarez and “too many dolores and not enough dollars.” These are smug, self-satisfied, too cute by half. Idk where the line is but I know it when I see it, Potter Stewart.
Musically tho? This song rocks.
Be My Escape
Too many words on that first track. I also think this song is great musically. There are abrupt shifts (minor guitar intro to major piano verse, etc) that feel exciting. You can see why it was a radio hit, which annoys me, but it’s well-arranged.
High of 75
Another really solid pop song, musically. Lyrically, it’s a whole song’s worth of Mike Herrera saying “you’re in the turn lane / and I’m the intersection.”
I So Hate Consequences
Again, a high-velocity, urgent track where all the music is more intricate than most pop songs have any business being. There are layered vocal harmonies and call-and-response prechoruses. But again, the elder millennial sneer of “i sooooo hate, like, consequences, bro” presented completely seriously—sometimes it’s easy to see why the adults made fun of us. Then the bridge where it’s decided all your relationship problems can be resolved by Jesus. Who I am cringes.
The Only Thing Worse Than Beating A Dead Horse Is Betting On One
It’s cool they tried to play hardcore punk. They sucked at it, but Daniel Tiger says we gotta try new things, so.
My Girl’s Ex-Boyfriend
I am once again reminded of Jessica Hopper, who wrote about girls in emo songs like this: “Girls in emo songs today do not have names. We are not identified beyond our absence, our shape drawn by the pain we’ve caused. Our lives, our day-to-day-to-day does not exist, we do not get colored in. Our actions are portrayed solely through the detailing of neurotic self-entanglement of the boy singer—our region of personal power, simply, is our impact on his romantic life. We’re vessels redeemed in the light of boy-love. On a pedestal, on our backs. Muses at best. Cum rags or invisible at worst. Check out our pictures on the covers of records—we are sad-eyed and winsome and comely (thank you Hot Rod Circuit, The Crush, Cursive, Something Corporate, et al.)—the fantasy girl you could take home and comfort.”
Except the focus here isn’t on the girl, it’s her former boyfriend. Come on, this is Youth Group! Women don’t have agency, what are you, a socialist? Now let us pray.
More Than Useless
Listening to Relient K contributed to my need to unlearn “negative self-talk” in therapy.
Which To Bury, Us or the Hatchet?
Legit good verse melody and guitar tones. Chorus is cringe. Banjo is like “oooh aren’t we interesting, we hired a third guitarist and he plays remedial banjo.” That having-new-instruments-just-for-the-sake-of-being-weird thing is juvenile, but they kept that guy in the band. Maybe there’s banjo on later records, idk. I didn’t listen to any.
Let It All Out
The one I was dreading the most, for cringe reasons. The nice thing I’ll say is that in terms of album construction, I like the extended soft part from the end of “Hatchet” into this one—it’s a good change of pace, it shows care in the arrangement. Shame the songs are unbearable.
Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been
Like the opener, this is a track I still really like. I think it’s one of the better uses of the Get Saved Chord Progression (IV – V – iv – I), a great use of an open E string, a great use of texture when the piano and acoustic play the intro riff in the verse. The guitars never stop doing interesting things. It’s high energy enough that I excuse the lyrics, which might be the most glaring example of Relient Kism there is. But this song is great.
Maintain Consciousness
This almost sounds like a War On Errorism song, right down to the El Hefe-style guitar breakdown. “No one could possibly listen to this?” That’s a NOFX lyric. If Fat Mike was into Philippians 4:13 instead of BDSM, of course.
This Week The Trend
wooooooooo this one is ROUGH
Life After Death & Taxes (Failure II)
Any time a Christian band talks about taxes I assume they’re libertarian. Had higher hopes for what I remembered was a well-arranged album climax. Sometimes a B minor sounds like it’s the first minor key you’ve ever written in. Sorry. Man, I really thought this was the most epic shit when I was 16. I, uh, feel differently now. Touch of a let down, honestly.
When I Go Down
Hearing the opening acoustic fingerpicking, I might not make it through this one.
Okay, I made it through. Never say I don’t suffer for you readers. The guitars did some cool stuff there, I won’t be totally negative.
What Scratches This Itch For Me Today:
Nostalgia is embarrassing, because do you really like music or were you just happier when you were 16? One answer is depressing. The point of looking back at records I liked in high school is to see where I am today, too.
This is weird and half-formed, but what scratches the itch for me today is Japanese math rock and pop songs. The ones that YouTube suggests after I watch Chon playthroughs. The ones that play over the end credits of anime. Bands like Jyocho and Ryokuoushoku Shakai really go for it, in terms of playing the most amount of notes, making the arrangements wild, but keeping this impossibly upbeat, poppy joy. Brendan’s just started getting me into this stuff, so I’m not super knowledgeable, but yeah. Don’t listen to Relient K, listen to AOUI (well, they’re Filipino, not Japanese).
Verdict: Easily the best Youth Group record ever
Take that for what you will.
Hey, didn’t I promise you BTBAM? You gotta order/make your own jerk chicken.
Now THAT’S an arrangement. Stay til the end or you’ll regret it.
Sorry you got an email,
Chris