“The Orb 4 had grand if unrealized plans…Not only were there to be ‘solo novels’ spun off by the members, but…talk of graphic novels, poetry chapbooks, and at least one TTRPG. Alas.” – Lincoln Michel, ‘Metallic Realms’
Hey. Wanna write a space opera? Wanna write a haunted house TV show together, like Haunting Of Hill House, but set in San Diego? Wanna write a series of loosely interconnected novels centering around a rebellion on Mars, and we’re telling the same story from multiple points of view, so by the end, your feelings of right and wrong and good and bad are impossibly complicated? Wanna start a band? Dude, we could do, like, a regular band. Then also electronic versions of our songs, like MIDI and drum machine stuff, it would be so sick, like no one’s ever seen.
If you or someone you love has recently had one of these conversations, you may be an artist. It’s fun to think of ideas! I love thinking up new projects. In fact, I’ve blogged before about my sudden, overwhelming desire to write a 10-book sci-fi series, much like what the Orb 4 dreams up in that one section.
My favorite time to think of new ideas is when the walls are closing in on a project that’s due soon. A project that I have like 75% finished and I’m starting to wonder how I get that last 25% in. That’s not fun. I hate that part. We could always do that last 25% later, like tomorrow or something, maybe the day after or next month, I’m not sure. Let’s just smoke another joint, pour some coffee, and spend this afternoon working out the script bible for Vampires In Fargo.
Any time I start to get this way, the voice of Dr. Faye Miller starts repeating in my head. Remember Dr. Faye Miller? Minor spoilers for Mad Men. Dr. Miller is Don’s girlfriend after he divorces Betty, but before he married Megan. I’ve only watched Mad Men the once, so this might be wrong, but in my head, Don broke up with Dr. Miller because she was conceivably his intellectual and professional equal. When Megan starts to approach being his intellectual and professional equal is when he loses interest. Much easier to tell Megan what to do, rather than to have a fully realized adult woman with opinions around. Anyway, Dr. Miller tells Don that she “hopes [Megan] knows you only like the beginnings of things.”
Before I rant about AI and how anyone who uses Generative AI for writing is not, actually, a writer, let’s look at Metallic Realms. There are a few pertinent examples of what I’m talking about in this book, but let’s stick to that scene from the epigraph. It’s early on enough that there are no spoilers.
If you haven’t read Metallic Realms, here’s my blog about it. Also? Read it, it rocks. Suffice for now that the narrator, Michael Lincoln, is a loser hanger-on for this sci-fi writing collective, the Orb 4. Mike is also, uh, fiercely loyal to one of these writers, Taras Castle. Here we go:
“Taras Castle had shattered the calcified worldbuilding paradigm that dominates science fiction. He instead advocated for ‘world gardening.’ He explained the theory to me one evening as we were rewatching the [Star Wars Orig Trig]…’You can extrapolate entire civilizations and galaxies from a few seconds of this cantina scene. Why do writers drop in one hundred pages about dwarf mating rituals or the economic output of space slugs?'”
In my opinion, Taras answers his own question there. He loves extrapolating whole worlds from the cantina scene in A New Hope. The difference between him and other writers is he can keep all that extraneous stuff in his head. Others get lost in the sauce. Sure, it’s absolutely fun to make up 100 pages of dwarf mating rituals, but only sometimes is it fun read 100 pages of dwarf mating rituals. I tend to agree with Taras. Writers should leave stuff to the imagination.
Plus, if the writers overexplain things, how does Cracked.com ever exist? That used to be the place to go to answer questions like “why is Satan in the Mos Eisley Cantina?” Or to catalogue the strange ways artistic ideas evolve beyond their creators, if you’d rather read one of my old columns.
What’s funny about Taras having such a principled, “literary,” Hemingway-esque stance on iceberg worldbuilding is that his biggest fan and oldest friend is exactly the person he’s talking about. Taras says “World seeds reject the dreary worldbuilding of would-be encyclopedians who demand readers play no part in a universe’s creation,” and he says it within earshot of his would-be encyclopedian friend. The scene continues (remember, they are in the middle of a Star Wars marathon):
“‘Is there a cosmic lingua franca or just a universal translator technology?’ I asked Taras as we browed the bodega for a late-night snack. ‘What governs galactic trade? How is the data transmitted through the nebula clouds? Do species interbreed using genetic editing?’
‘Whoa, Mike,’ Taras said…He held up two bags of chips to choose from ‘I don’t know. The whole point is to leave some stuff unanswered. BBQ or salt and vinegar?’
“Ah, but he did know. I could see it in the mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he tossed the salt and vinegar chips into my awaiting hands. Authors are word magicians, so I couldn’t expect him to reveal his tricks. Still, what a spell Taras’s lengthy fingers weave in this first scintillating tale…The Orb 4 had grand if unrealized plans…Not only were there to be ‘solo novels’ spun off by the members, but…talk of graphic novels, poetry chapbooks, and at least one TTRPG. Alas. Hypothetical plans were not powerful enough to blast away the meteors of discord that would later crash upon the group.”
Later, when the group has a friendly short story writing contest (you’re not gonna believe this, but they rhapsodize about Mary Shelley inventing science fiction during a rainy summer in Italy), Mike is invited to write—even though he is not a member of the Orb 4. Mike writing a short story goes about as well as Tyler from The Menu cooking. If you haven’t seen The Menu, I don’t think the below scene will spoil anything. Suffice to say that Tyler is a snobbish, know-it-all foodie who couldn’t boil water if you gave him access to 1000 YouTube tutorials. Let’s see him try to cook lamb:
Knowing is not the same as creating. Understanding is not the same as making.
The answer to “dude what do you Boba Fett was up to,” a question on the lips of every nerd from 1980 until 2019, now has an answer. The answers are in The Mandalorian and The Book Of Boba Fett. Whatever you think of those shows, they got made. Personally, I like a lot about them, but generally think that Mando S3 and Book Of Boba Fett are proof that sometimes world seeds are better than worldbuilding. I think they are also proof that making things is hard.
That’s the thing about ideas. Writing 50,000 words takes a year, minimum—at least if you want them to be good1. Scheduling brand practice is impossible. Editing and revision often feel like the “me sowing: fuck yeah / me reaping: what the fuck this sucks” meme. Submitting work to publishers is tedious and deadening.
Except, have you ever written 50,000 words? Have you ever gotten 2-5 people together, tuned the drums, plugged in the amps, set up the PA, and absolutely ripped some songs into a garage? Editing and revising are joyous once you get into it, you can feel your work getting stronger, you can feel yourself learning. Submitting sucks, but finding an editor who gets you is immeasurably satisfying. Work sucks, as Tom DeLonge teaches us, but “All The Small Things” is the most half-assed Blink 182 song. Working on your art rocks.
It’s not, Dr. Faye Miller, unlike a relationship. You can run away after the first fight, you can let something annoying simmer and fester into something toxic, or you can work. I’m not one of those “marriage is hard” people, because I mostly find marriage to be fun, more than anything. But fighting is hard. The existential realization that you made a lifelong commitment can be overwhelming. Like finishing a novel, though, the reward that comes from doing the work is unlike anything else. When you actually write the novel instead of dreaming it, when you actually are approaching your 10-year wedding anniversary next month instead of living “Wouldn’t It Be Nice?” It’s better than what you can imagine, because it is lived.
Again: knowing is not the same as creating, understanding is not the same as making.
Why does using Generative AI make you not a writer2? For the same reason that Tyler, snobby foodie, can’t cook. For the same reason Michael Lincoln, passionate barnacle, cannot finish even one measly story or cook anything not from a box. The book is the work. The idea is just what happens when your third coffee/puff/beer kicks in. One is interesting. One is cheap.
Sorry you got an email,
Chris