“That’s how it is with werewolves. You have something, then you just have the story of it.” – Stephen Graham Jones, ‘Mongrels’
Hey look, it’s the first crop of ekphrasis for the new website! If you’re unfamiliar with this series, basically, I take five pictures and write a one-paragraph response to them. This is one of three for this summer.
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Quick note up top: back on Substack, alt text would auto populate from Wikimedia Commons. It seems to not do that here. I apologize for not adding alt text previously, I didn’t realize it wasn’t there.
This week, as I said in the title, it’s either my first- or second-favorite type of monster. We’re doing werewolves.
German Woodcuts Go Hard
You ever seen much German woodcuts? I have a whole book of them, depicting 1920s urban life, that I picked up when I worked in a used bookstore. They’re incredible in general, but rendering them to print gives them this super eerie black-and-white texture. It’s very cool. I like this werewolf. Seems like a friendly, if violent, werewolf. Town party animal, from the looks of the onlookers. This werewolf could turn me.
Shoutout To Weird Tales
Having not read much Lovecraft, anytime I picture a Lovecraft main character, I picture a stuck-up ninny like Ben Barnes’ William Thurber in the “Pickman’s Model” episode of Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities. This werewolf, from a 1941 issue of Weird Tales (who published a bunch of Lovecraft), feels perfect for the magazine. Guy wearing a suit, just trying to do right by the impossible standards of early 20th-century New England, whoops, now he’s a werewolf. Probably a super, super racist werewolf. But he didn’t want to be a werewolf, he wanted to have lunch at the club.
Technically This Goofball Is A Platschhonk
Hailing from the German town of Übach, this little guy is part dragon. What a great reminder that werewolves are also very silly. I wish I lived in a town with werewolf public art.
Nothing But Respect For My Wolf Man
As said before, I thought both the 2010 and 2025 Wolf Man remakes were just fine, only fine, nothing better. One of them has its moments, the other has Benicio del Toro and Anthony Hopkins and nothing else that I remember. Lon Chaney Jr not only starred in a good movie, he made us look past this okay-for-its-time werewolf makeup. Brendan named a cat after him. Deservedly so, because both that cat and Lon Chaney Jr are gods. Pour one out for a legend.
The Best Movie Werewolves Of All Time
I didn’t say the best werewolf movie, although it’s a pretty good one. You ever seen Dog Soldiers? It rocks. It’s these army troops playing war games in in the Scottish highlands, except, it doesn’t stay war games for long. It’s definitely a 2002 action horror movie with some 2002 comedy, but it’s a good movie. The werewolves, though. The werewolves are legitimately scary, imposing, and don’t get any less so when you see a whole-body view. Look at that image! Is that soldier sure those guns will help? That is a WOLF. HUMAN. It’s like Victor Wembanyama, but with LeBron’s physique, and a wolf head and claws. This movie came out 23 years ago and we haven’t gotten better werewolves since. Even in a really great movie like The Cursed. Well done, Dog Soldiers, no one is taking the belt from you.
Sorry you got an email,
Chris
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